The Foster Dog Diaries
Join me in the triumphs and terrors that come along with welcoming an adolescent foster dog into your home.
For confidential reasons, I’m not able to share the dog’s name or any of her history. Nor can I share photos/videos on social media as I usually would. So as any good content strategist, I’m taking to my second best platform, the blog. The foster dog in question will hereby be known as Suzie.
First Night
Well, I’m pretty sure Suzie has never been in a car before. There were obvious signs of discomfort from the start like the fact that when I opened the car door to encourage her to jump in she put on the brakes so hard I almost tripped over my feet. Once in the car, trembling commenced. This subsided over the ride. She spent the majority of the 20-minute drive with her front paws on my lap and her body stretched out awkwardly so she could both sniff the air coming through the window and remain as far into the car as possible. Not until it was time to get out did I notice a little urine on the seat. Our first accident!
After arriving at the apartment she spent some time sniffing around which was only to be interrupted by the frequent skin scratching she was doing. After being told by my sister, the car driver, that she stunk I realized a bath might need to be added to tonight’s series of unfortunate events. Like any good dog trainer, I prepped a lickable pumpkin treat and got the bath ready. It became quickly clear that Suzie was not a bath fan. So, we got it done as quickly as possible and reparations, in the form of lots of treats, were made after.
One towel dry and long walk later, dinner was eaten (by both humans and dogs) and we (the humans) were settled into the couch watching a movie. Despite my early insistence against human visitors on the first night, my sisters and her boyfriend popped by to borrow some supplies. I instructed them to remain calm - “absolutely no squeaky noises” - and her first visitor greeting went off without a hitch.
At 11 PM we were off to bed and we were in for another not-so-pleasant surprise. There was absolutely no way in hell Suzie was getting in the crate. I tossed treats in the crate, left the door wide open, and moved as far away as possible from it. Whining and pacing ensued, as she wouldn’t put more than one toe in the crate but clearly wanted the treats. Tonight was not the night, I decided, to add more stress to her life so I pulled out a blanket, transferred the treats to it and we got in bed while she paced around the room and eventually settled her self on the blanket when the lights went off. Success! Kinda…
Day 1
5 AM bright and early was our wake-up call and I couldn’t be happier. Suzie’s frantic pawing made it quite clear potty time was NOW. I’ll take an early wake-up and a successful potty outside from a young dog any day. Well almost successful, we made it as far as the lobby before our first pee of the day (at least it was 5 AM and no one was around to judge). Then she did not one but two poos outside! If you’re getting grossed out, you might want to leave the page now. We take about poo and pee a lot around here.
Feeling like a sleep-deprived newborn Mom, I gave in to our no-bed rule for an extra 2 hours of Zzs and she conked out between the two of us. If you don’t think dogs prefer to sleep with humans you’re kidding yourself.
Alas, I do need to get this sweet girl crate trained for departures as she’s not quite trustworthy with her housebreaking yet so breakfast was served a la crate in a snoop. I left the snoop in the front of the crate. Two small bouts of whining and pacing later Suzie made the brave, some would say daring choice to step all the way in (!!!) and so crate training begins.
Walks happened about every 2 hours in the first half of the day and were stretched to 3 hours in the later half of the day as Suzie’s energy waned. It’s already apparent that she is more bonded with me than my boyfriend and we’re starting to see some warning signs of separation issues. For example, when I left to take out the trash she barked at the door despite my boyfriend sitting on the couch. Later that night, I set up the camera and did a 5-minute departure while I ran upstairs to say hi to a friend. She did a few barks and a few whines before moving off-screen but I came home to our first accident in the apartment. I was cutting it close to our next walk so tough to say what’s the culprit but my guess is stress.
Day 2
We slept in until 6 AM today, YAY! 🤪
Given our newly discovered separation concerns, we’ve shifted tactics. I’m still doing some light crate work, mostly just getting her comfortable walking in and out. Now I’m more concerned about desensitizing her to my departures out the front door. We’re starting easy with my boyfriend on the couch to provide a source of comfort. I left about 3 times for 3-5 minutes each and by the third departure, she remained in a comfortable settled position on the rug the whole time WOOHOO!
On another not-so-great note, I’ve discovered a possible ear infection and her skin inflammation which she was being treated for prior to the start of our foster seems to be worsening. She’s been really struggling to settle throughout the day and is doing tons of mouthy behavior if people try to rub or touch her. I am strongly inclined to believe all that inflammation is contributing to her feeling a bit more irritable than usual. I don’t blame her!
Day 3
I want to say I’m at peak exhaustion levels but I’m pretty sure it could be worse. Real talk - I set an incredibly high bar for myself when it comes to caring for animals. I am incredibly empathic when it comes to their anxiety and stress so I tend to absorb it all and become one ball of stress myself. Last night, I made a whoopsie and stretched the time between walks too far, Suzie had an accident, and I beat myself up about it for the rest of the night. So before going to bed, I had a talk with myself (am I starting to sound crazy yet? 🫠) and reminded Maddie that there are going to be plenty of accidents and mistakes made over the course of this foster’s stay. The important thing is that we take those as learning moments and move on.
^ the image I have in my head of Suzie while I’m with clients today 😭
I bring this up because today is my first official workday with Suzie and this morning I was freaking out!!! As I’m typing this she’s snoozing in a bed next to my desk so I’m feeling a bit more confident. But my main concern is how she’s going to fare when left alone because unfortunately, I have to go train dogs and make $$ for more treats and toys and rent and such. I know it’s not going to be fun for her at first but I’m hopeful she’ll settle into the rhythm. I brought her home because she was incredibly unstressed in the kennel at the shelter and so far has been quite resilient around things that scare her.
Oh by the way, here’s our current list of scary things: the crate (getting better!), the bathroom (hates baths), people in hats, people coming into the home, the dishwasher, and vet procedures
Day 4
Well despite my alone time anxiety, it seems like my boyfriend (who is decidedly not the dog person in the relationship) may have had even more anxiety than me because he came home early so we avoided leaving Suzie alone on Day 3. But today’s Day 4 and I’m exceptionally proud to report that Suzie absolutely crushed a 2.5 hour alone time this AM while I went to a client session! 😁 I set her up with a bed and a frozen toppl plus some toys in our front area. Unfortunately, we couldn’t leave her loose in the living room as she’s not fully housetrained and I want to avoid accidents on the carpet which is tough to clean. She whined a bit at the door to the living room during the alone time but eventually settled herself on the bed and snoozed through the departure. As a separation anxiety trainer, I can’t even begin to tell you how stupid happy I am. Fingers crossed this next hour-long departure goes as planned. 🤞🏼 By the way… if you ever catch someone watching their dog at home on a video camera, give them a smile, they’re anxiety is probably as high as the dog’s. 😅
Day 5-7
You know what they say… when it rains it pours. Just when we thought we were on the road to recovery from skin inflammation and an ear infection Suzie developed a limp. This was problematic for a multitude of reasons but mainly because as an adolescent dog she wants to MOVE her body. She loves to run and jump and as a result of the limp we had to severely limit her exercise. The other issue is that in the shelter her learned settling abilities were very much dependent on being put back in her kennel. This is true for most shelter dogs. They get out of their kennels several times a day for high-energy activities and there’s no cool-down period before they go back into their kennels. So they are forced to settle in the confines of a small space but have very little practice settling in open environments like homes.
With our new limited activity plan, even with low-impact games and training after walks and the utilization of work-to-eat toys, Suzie’s frustration was spiking when the fun ended and she would often resort to barking at us or biting us for further engagement. This puts us in a precarious situation, do we ignore the barking/mouthing and risk it escalating during an extinction burst? Or is it possible that the barking/mouthing will grow in duration as eventually one of us gives in and reinforces longer amounts of these engagement behaviors?
Being a savvy dog trainer I came up with a plan. First, I started working on low-impact toy games that don’t require running and jumping. I started teaching her a “wait” behavior and the cue “get it” which signals her to find the toy I’ve placed only a few feet away. We started playing this game after walks to address her unmet need for toy play and body movement that she’s no longer getting. I ask her to wait for me to place the toy a little ways away and then cue her to retrieve it.
From there, we move into 1 or 2 other training skills that will further engage her brain. Currently, we’re working on a “bed,” “crate,” “down,” and “leave it.” After this, I do a bit of mat relaxation or reinforcing her for settling on a chosen surface for an extended period of time. During this, I’m particularly looking to reinforce disengagement from me or the treats and relaxed behaviors like a chin rest or deep sighs. Finally, I grab a food-based enrichment item like a chew or frozen lickable and deliver it to her with the “all done” cue. I’ve started instituting “all done” to help her learn when engagement is no longer available. This is a slow learning process as previously the “all done” signal was the four walls of her kennel and the absence of human presence. The goal is to use this signal to reduce frustration which is really the difference between expectations and reality. If we can close the gap between those two things in her brain that should help to reduce the barking and mouthing behaviors that are truthfully driving my boyfriend and me up the wall.
The last thing I’ll say is that I have had to consistently reframe my thoughts around these behaviors and try to help my boyfriend (not a dog person) understand. She’s not a “bad” dog. She’s not acting like this because she’s a brat. She quite literally has never learned how to live in an apartment with humans and to top it all off she’s in pain. So with that in mind, we’ll continue marching forward. She comes home from the vet today after being kept overnight to monitor the limping and we will charge forward with our new engagement plan - god help us.
